Like a Phoenix

“So ask me how many times life has broken me” said she sipping a coffee from a cup kept before her.

“No tell me, how many time you have kicked in and been a phoenix?” I ushered staring into her eyes which spoke fierce yet so well made.

“Wooo, I Like that” She giggled saying “I am so glad I met you. Finally”

“Me too, very much” I replied in Further “Tell me more”

“oh, It took me long 10  years to be where I am, the senior branch manager of one of the leading Insurance company. Sounds nice. Isn’t it? But trust me its not, not at all was easy. I had a terrific start. I was in mess. I was lazy, I never wanted a career, I just wanted to dance and chillout all time and I was already 27”

I raised my eyebrows as she continued “My boyfriend then husband now one day came to me and said, Yeah nahi chalega, if you want to marry me you have to work, thanks to him I found my 1^st job which paid me 1.5k .it was nothing but book keeping, it so irritated me that  I switched to sales just because they offered me 4 times more pay without having any idea about sales then. I took it, the job where I constantly was on run, I had targets to reach and schedule to miss.. I just worked and worked without thinking much. And here I am today a little proud about what I am”

“And yeah, I want to retire by 40, I have plans further. I want to start a NGO where I can help a children suffering from Autism like my son” 

The moist eyes said it all.

I smiled with one word “Inspiring”

She poured in words “it wasn’t really easy.. I had really late start.. I hated my job.. I wanted to quit.. I was doing I absolutely had no idea about.. but I kept going. That’s it” 

Realizing  she’s no where to stop, I finally asked “what kept you going, what’s the secrete?”

Her eyes sparkled and all she said was “The Secret, Book by Rhonda Byrne”

At times we just need to open the need.

I want to quit

I want to quit, I can't hassle anymore, it's been an year I have started this, I am working day and night, haven't made a single penny, it's getting harder..

I want to quit, it's too much to balance between work,home and kid, I don't get a minute for me, I feel tired..

I want to quit, these bags feel heavy on my back, wondering around, waiting for perfect captures, sleeping in forest, in deserts, in tents. I long for home..

I want to quit, I haven't been able to think single  scene, I think I don't fit in, there are better movie makers than me, I feel lost..

I want to quit, I can't lift weights again, I can't run single mile more, I cant handle anymore bruise on my face, I don't want that medal too.. 

I want to quit..

I failed one more exam, I lost one more game, my new recipe still taste disaster, my one more blog post went unread, i missed my son's PT meeting once again, my hands still shakes in OT today,  my start up yet not funded, I still cry in efforts..

But, I won't quit

Cz,

All the little things I long

All the pretty things I crave 

Of all the images I behold

My struggle is the most beautiful.. 

I won't quit.. 

ಕವಿತೆಗಳ ಕೊನೆಯ ಸಾಲಿನ ಕಾರಣ..

ನೆನಪುಗಳು

ಅಕ್ಷರಗಳಾಗಿ ಪ್ರತಿಭಟಿಸಿದಾಗ

ಸುಕ್ಕು ಗಟ್ಟಿದ ಹಾಳೆಯಲ್ಲಿ

ಗೀಚಿ - ಗೀಟಾಕಿ ನಶಿಸಿಹೋದ

ಆದಿ ಅಂತ್ಯಗಳಿಲ್ಲದ

ಸಾಲುಗಳಿವು

****

ನೆನಪುಗಳೇ ಹೀಗೆ

ಮಾಸಿದ ಗೋಡೆ ಬಣ್ಣದಂತೆ

ಮರೆಮಾಚುವುದು ಅಷ್ಟು ಸುಲಭವಲ್ಲ

****

ಮನಸ್ಸಿನಂಗಳದಲ್ಲಿ ರಂಗೋಲಿ ಬರೆದು

ನಾಳೆಗಳೆಂಬ ಬಣ್ಣ ತುಂಬಿ

ಕನಸಿಣ್ಣೆ ಹಾಕಿ ಹಚ್ಚಿಟ್ಟ

ದೀಪವೇ ನೀನು

****

ಏನಿಲ್ಲ

ನಿನ್ನ ಕವಿತೆಗಳ

ಕೊನೆಯ ಸಾಲಿನ

ಕಾರಣವಾಗಬೇಕಿತ್ತಷ್ಟೆ.. 

Dear 2017,

New Year, Old Hopes.

New eyes, Old Dreams.

Dear 2017,

Welcome. Hope you enjoyed your 2 week  stay with us and don’t have  any plans of messing up remaining  364 days. Thank you, Well keeping the same expectation from you, Here; I  promise you I will take you as you gonna be. I promise this year and rest all years of my life “I will not be Judgmental.” Yes you heard it right, I will never judge anyone for anything and continue admire each and every individual for what they are.

I will not judge person on his skin color, hair color and nor even on those orange colored pants he/she decides to wear. I will still appreciate each one who decided to work 9-5 in that tiny cubicle or gave a shot to set a stage on fire with their guitar, decided to wonder around with huge cameras to capture those perfect moments or gave it up all to raise their perfect child. Yes you all have my admiration beyond your imagination. I will never impose my political beliefs on one, though he/she feel/assume/believe extreme contrary to me.  I will listen to people who choose to speak in their mother tongue or no, I will still listen.  I cherish every emotion of a person who decided to love, love repeatedly or not to love at all. I will take a pleasure of knowing everyone no matter what; Shining or broken.

Yes, This 2017 I wont judge people, in fact I will judge my every action once before and then proceed.

Thank you and much love

-  Someone sincerely hoping for betterment.

Oh women… Its so difficult to be ONE

6:30 AM

*Stretching in joggers park*

Neighbor aunt: “Betaji, you must grow your nail and paint them in pretty colors”

Me: “Auntiji I play violin, I can’t grow nails”

Heart: “Oh shut up, you din do it even before”

9:15 AM

*In the car*

ME: “Get out quick, I am in hurry”

Friend: “Are you doing well these days? You haven’t done brows lately”

ME: “oh I forgot the salon appointment “

Heart: “Lier, you just skipped it for that stupid book”

12:30 PM

*Handing out the mithai dabba*

Colleague: “Here, wife delivered a baby girl”

ME: “Awwww congratulations J”

Heart: Take a tiniest bite

ME: But why? I love Jalebi

Heart: Remember for Ammu’s wedding you have picked a dress a size smaller.!

3:00 PM

*Something  strongly itches around waist, making excuse and rushing to loo*

ME: “F***, why the hell they stitches wash care label inside the shirt?”

Heart: “The designer must have felt, you might need to wash it anytime in case”

Me: “Really, like in middle of meeting I would just rip it off and put into machine”

5:55 PM

*After trying 13^th  shade of lipstick*

SA: “ma’am this looks perfect on you”

ME: “But I already have 3 nude in different brands”

Heart: “Yeah, SA says it enhance your facial feature “

ME: “She said it for all of them”

Heart: "But this nude makes your eye brighter"

8:00 PM

*Dressing up for date*

ME: dinner with him has to be the best thing of the day”

Heart: “Yeah, you gotta wear those new stilettos”

Me: “Oh no, no more heels, feel are already in pain”

Heart:”don’t be jerk, your leg looks so better in ‘em and remember his ex was an inch taller than you”

11:00 PM

ME:”I so wanna sleep peacefully”

Heart: “Did he notice your new earring??”

Oh women… Its so difficult to be ONE”

Silent Teacher

The setting sun is busy dyeing the color of a sky with his vividness and this room like any random day is crowded and felt like  long wait ahead, as always the smell of hospital was sickening for some reasons  more were the distressing than a happy faces around with busy staff in their routine chaos.  I sat their burying my eyes in my copy of Wuthering heights anticipating my turn shall not come any soon. Unable to read, I sat glancing at varied faces all around without realizing that I am eavesdropping in the conversation between two men sitting adjacent to me.

The young man in his late thirties was constantly mocking his little girl as to sit at one place and not to mess all around, watching this scene from last few minutes the old man next to him gestures at saying “it’s ok. She’s kid, let her play” ignoring these words the young man clutched his daughter hands tightly warned her again to maintain silence and send her off to her mother. I watch this girl frightened and running towards her mom I hear the young man turning to the old one and starts “Oh Sir, handling these daughters is big thing sir. Imagine, that too I have two two daughters. Firstly raise them up, provide all the things, educate them, spend on them and they will get married and go. No one to look after us in old age. What to do sir? Things would be different if I had a son; u might be having a son no sir. Lucky you sir” and as he says all this in one go ending the whole story with one big “pchhh” sound, I notice the old man nodding at him with a little smile and move back on his chair.

The time spent by there was awkward silence accept one or two mobile phone ringing and a receptionist calling out next patient’s name. after a while I saw one young lady in her finest of white Apron walking towards us. As she came closer to us, she smiled at old man held her hand to him and said “Come papa, Lets go home” as he got up to leave he turned to the young man patted his back and muttered “Its ok, Let her play” by then a very cute little girl came running to take his hands in her and said “I’ll Hold Nanu’s Hand”

I went on seeing them leaving until they faded from my sight, turning to younger man I noticed his daughter playing  gleefully with him. I couldn’t have felt any happier.

PS: Some people teach you so many things without saying much. Life in bites.:)

ಬಳ್ಳಿ

ಬದುಕೆಂಬ್ ಸ್ಕೂಲಿನ

ಆತಿದಡ್ಡ ಸ್ಟೂಡೆಂಟ್ ನಾನು

"ಬುಕ್ಸ್ ಏನೋ ಖುಷಿ ಕೊಡತ್ತೆ ಆದ್ರೆ

ಅವನ್ನೇನು ನೆಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡಿರೋಕಾಗತ್ತಾ?"

ಎಂದು ಅವ್ ಕಳಿಸಿದ ವಾಟ್ಸಪ್ ಮೆಸೇಜಿನಲ್ಲಿ

ನೋ ಕಮೆಂಟ್ಸ್ ಅಂತ ಟೈಪ್

ಮಾಡಲು ಬೇಸರಿಸಿಕೂಂಡಿರುವ ಈ ಮನವು

ನೀನಿರದ ರಾತ್ರಿಗಳಲ್ಲಿನನ್ನೊಂದಿಗಿದಿದ್ದೆ

ಆ ಅಕ್ಷರಗಳಲ್ವೇನೋ ? ಅಂತ ಕೇಳಬೇಕೆನಿಸಿದರು

ಯಾಕೋ ತಮ್ಮನ್ನು ತಾವೇ ವಿತ್‌ಡ್ರಾ

ಮಾಡಿಕೂಂಡಿರುವ್ ಭಾವನೆಗಳ

ನಡುವೆ ಸಿಲುಕಿರುವ ಟೈಮಿನಲ್ಲಿ

ಬುಕ್ ಎಕ್ಷಿಬಿಶನ ಅನ್ನೋ ಫೋಟೋ ಕಳ್ಸಿ

"ಹೋಗೋಣ್ವಾ?" ಎಂದು ಕಣ್ಣು ಮೀಟ್ಕಿಸುವ

ಎಮೊಜೀ ಹಾಕಿದ ಇವನು ಮತ್ತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ನೆನಪಾಗಿ

ಕಾಳಜಿ ಎಂಬ ಸಪ್ಲಿನ ನೆಟ್ಟು ಅದ್ನ ಕಾಡಿ ಕೆಣಕಿ

ಡಿಸ್ಟರ್ಬ್ ಮಾಡಿ, ನೀರ ಹಾಕಿ

ಬಳ್ಳಿಯಾಗಿ ಹರಡಿಸುವ ಇವನ ರೀತಿಯನ್ನು

ಪ್ರೀತಿಸದಿರಲಾದೆನು..

Go Girl Go

On some lazy afternoon getting into bus, opting for window seat the generally desolated bus felt crowded as I witnessed a burqa clad lady took a place beside me. Though I am not someone who choose to start a conversation but the person in me is always very keen about watching the other person and as i went on looking at her black attire for a moment i stumbled upon delicately embroidered gloves she wore. That was an instant love moment for me, I never knew they were so beautifully made.

I constantly watched her long fingers wrapped within thin layer of black fabric, I wondered how she can opt to spend most of her life in this loosely twilled outer layer from the moment she steps out of her house. I kept wondering more weather she would be distracted by so many options and so many colors to choose from, Ok! I know she may not continue to be covered with Burqa the moment she reach her destination  but this idea was bothering me as I couldn’t understand and now i continued gazing at her long eyelashes which were more curiously peeping out i quiet went on overboard thinking will she have the same daily ritual as most of the we (Women) have in the morning of spending good 20 mins of our day in deciding what to wear according to endless factors like mood, occasion, color time etc etc , ufff.. You see that’s the actual task. I asked myself that will she not feel the sense of strangled inside it, would she  enjoy the freedom of adding more colors to the world and so on. i was all questioned.. 

When driver hit the break which was more or less was a break to marathon of my wondering thoughts, she gently got up from her seat looking at me when I beamed a big smile at her.  Well i don’t know she smiled back at me.

As I saw her leaving I slowly whispered “Lady You are Brave”
Brave to be Hid in that.!!

And I sat staring at my bare fingers, and the ring around my finger twinkled with a little smile in his memories..

if you have any, Do Share your every day travel stories in the comment below.. 

Good day :-)

The Girl who owned a city

One of the summer evenings,

She sat in the balcony with cup of warm coffee

The buzzing uproar, gleaming lights and 100 of thoughts

Invaded her skull made her sank

in the beckoned memory of the city she would call her own.

She missed it all, she missed her city

Which beamed a happiness and smelled a pride

And every lane spread like a spring leaves

people speak the language of love

and it felt like heaven is just here..

where younger she ran in beautiful streets,

laughed, and danced her heart out

to the sound of delightfully pouring rain.

It was her city, her home, her reason to smile

Which let her spent her summer flying kites

Making friends and growing happy.

It was her city which would let her go and hold her back

And feel all the colors of the nature in one go

The city which looked angelic with every sunset

The smell of a monsoon spread to moon

nights were serene and hummed a lullaby

where she would fall asleep with peace in core

As she smiled she knew

she can call it her own,

where she cant wait to come back home..

(the city which never fail to surprise with its beauty – BELAGAVI, Eternal love)

Image courtesy: http://allaboutbelgaum.com/

In the fumes of Overanalysis

I got up this evening feeling really happy.. eh, U read it right “Happy” but my Happiness is just like the happiness of those daily soap characters  which doesn’t even last for next episode. Ok I don’t get such” high-figh baseless beyond my wildest dream” problems like terrorist residing in my home (Yes yes.. My own House) next to my room or solving a murder mystery of some XYZ who is no where even remotely concern to me..!! but someone wise said “Good things doesn’t last forever” (I know you all wanna kill this “Wise” now.. to your misery, you can’t) my whatsapp texts ruined it all..

As if India was out of World cup league wasn’t enough to put me in deep shock and Bharat Mata ki Jai was less entertaining, the message in my family group popped up reading “Bought Audi Q7, feeling  awesome”  along with 20 pics clicked in various angels  from one of my 3^rd.. or 4^th (or some nth level) cousin and my eyes popped out faster than Dhoni’s stumping. I felt like the violin kept in the corner mocked at me saying “Look at Him, He owns audi, and what do  you own.. ME..!!” throwing a dirty stare at it i decided to kill all my amusement with my super power of over analysis.

Ungodly (Like every Relative) I sat with pen and paper to derive the formula to own “My own Audi” and to my surprise I found out, even if I starve to death (well, part of my Mom’s brain always thinks so) and save all I could have, I still cannot buy one in next 99.9 galactic year as well. Ok ok, I deep breathed in, let’s not lose the hope I recited there are always an alternative. Now I could summarize 2 possibalities. either I have to camouflage myself as The Vijay Malya and fetch an non-returnable loan from banks  or I have to find Ravindra Jadeja’s wife has any sister and stalk her until she marry me so that I could get an Audi in return gift.. now it was “HIS” turn to throw a dirty look at me. :-D

This moment i felt even more annoying than those all the list I prepared in my mind to convince all the Dhoni Haters as why He failed in today’s match even before match started. Admit it, even you did it.!!

Between all this fumes of my over and under Analysis

in my Mind: I Gave Up, I am Happy with my Hyundai

My heart slowly whispered lets Google abt Sir Jadeja’s……….

While my fingers moved on mobile screen typing “Congos Boy, Waiting for Drive” :-)




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Until I see you in me..!!

Hey Mom,

There is nothing more joyous than being wrapped in your six yard saree. You know he says I looked beautiful when I choose to wear your fanatic treasure you safe guarded all these years so you could pass it to me.  But Maa how can I disclose him that it was not just any saree, it’s a perfect art of sliding into your warmness which I long for on those random unaimed days. Everytime I move my fingers on your kanchivaram, the lustrous shine or the feather smoothness would instantly rush me to ramble on the memory lane in no time.

Then were the days when  running behind you holding your pallu was my favorite game, when i had to cry I had the softness to curl in your lap and no matter how hard the things would get, the tiny tinkles of your moving bangles would sing lullaby, when everything  would seem blurred on the far side, the shadow of you walking to me draped in colorful saree would put that smile on me and I would just fall on my knees and convince myself as how Should I get away all my life without getting to dig in my face in those crumpled plates of your saree which always posed as cradle of your warm demeanour.

Then, how you could bid me adieu that day?  Did you flow in the same whirlwind of emotions i had underneath my feet or you had bigger storm of melancholy in your heart. As you let me go did you feel the same pain when I fought with your pelvic bone to push myself out of your womb or was it much more than I could justify the impulsive emotional outburst I had then.  Or is it that you always foresee this day? Were you aware that your little girl would one day unbind herself from you and walk into other world where she will leave your footprints in her every hustle bustle she could go through. When all my life you bubbled yourself around me as a cushion of comfort, how well you knew that I would still call for every shot without the torch of your guiding light. How you always go into hiding your tears behind that smile.  How you always knew it all..?

Amma, Today I am again draped in your saree and will be draping myself in one many more times until standing in front of Mirror I could see You in ME..

A note from HER dairy..!!

I have inked my soul with the infinite love for your existence in my mind on the platitude of alarmed state you left me. it is my inanity that i am still purely enslaved my endurance in anticipation of you to listen up to this pursuer of your love. Waking up every time with faint hearten numbness striking down to my veins is not curious anymore as every wall and pillow could eavesdrop to unheard prayers dried up with tears. How with every breath i have become so naive to deal with this sliced thoughts of my discomposed mind and heart which are stirred beyond the stretch of acute illusion i have been framing in your absence. i am drained with a consumed thoughts where they said its going to be entirely ok..!! how i wish i can Band-Aid my whispered remark to them that how profoundly uncommon you were to slip down in to lot beneath me where i kept all my doors open and YOU just decided to stand out and stare..!! How i wish...!!

Like Never Before..!!

It was wintry and tenderly chilled..
not finding him at the other end, quickly disturbed her trance
jumping out of the bed she thought "Is she late for the Day?"
the missing aroma of fresh brewed coffee was uneasy feel,
worryingly glancing at the clock which read 4:49 am
something strongly churned inside her as she whispered its too early to be up..
hurrying into study, the table.. books and markers laid untouched,
increasingly nervous, dreadfully blackout she opt to call him,
its ringing... one.. two and couple of more calls go unanswered...
tears began to roll down as she comfort herself on couch,
the insistent sound of her heartbeat eludes queer pain..
his watch.. his wallet.. his notes on the desk screamed jitters in her.
thousands of thoughts swelled in her nervous..
she reverberated how busy she was to unheard what he wanted to say over last night..
seemingly anguish She missed him lot more than ever,
she missed his unpretentious charm, she missed the sound of his footsteps around her..
in every breath she inhaled uncanny distress with clueless attention,
the hours were passing by and yet he didn't reciprocate,
she thought where he could be as she cried to numbness..

breeze in the sunshine gave her some hope,
with buzzing alarm, reclining calmness she decides to stay strong..
the swollen eyes and dried up  lips craved for some warmness,
she stand frail wishing for some coffee..
making into kitchen missing him more at every step
the stick on note flashes on the fridge..
imbibed fear, shivering hands she bend down to read..
"OT Call in the middle of the night, didn't wanted to wake you up,
will be back for breakfast.. See Ya"

falling on the knee, crying breather it was that light of the day
where she waited for him like never before..

Allied Patterns..

As the first ray of raising sun

Penetrated through window

The Intoxicated illumination lingered in the aura

As the Freshly brewed coffee tickled down the taste buds,

It gripped the sense of  Euphoria..

Gazing at the vivid and varied  faces across the streets

Clearing the foggy layer of the glasses,

I fell into the arms of fathomless thoughts..

Beaming into the each of them,

I struggle to read who belonged to whom.?

The more I scrutinize more I fail..

All of them strike as alike,

Their  pattern, hopes and dreams look allied..

Breaking down my attention,

I inquest “ why there is discrimination?”

I sense “NO” as I stare endlessly..

I felt like,

The same Big NO screams aloud

“Its not in the multitude you looking at,

Its their in the voices you are hearing from..

STOP THEM…”

I turned off the news.. 

PC:  google images.

ಮೌನಕ್ಕೂಂದು ಧ್ವನಿ..!!

“ಏನ್ಮಾಡ್ತಾದಿಯ..?”

“ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.”.

“ಅರಿಯುವ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಮಾಡಬಹುದಲ್ಲಾ..?”

“ಬೇಕಿಲ್ಲ,,”

“ಏನೋ ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡತಿದಿಯ..?”

“ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ನನ್ನದ್0ತೆನಿಲ್ಲ..”

“ಇರುಳು ಜಾರಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ಹೊಸ ಸೂರ್ಯ ಮೂಡುವನಲ್ಲ..?”

“ಆದರೂ ಇವತ್ತಿನ ದಿನಕರ್ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮರಳುವದಿಲ್ಲ್..”

“ಮತ್ತೆ ಏತಕ್ಕೆ ತಿರುವುವೆ ಓದಿದ್ ಪುಟಗಳನ್ನ..?”

“ಇಲ್ಲಿರುವುದು ಕೇವಲ್ ಖಾಲಿ ಪುಸ್ತಕವಿನ್ನೂ..”

“ಅತಿಯಾಗಿ ಯೋಚಿಸಬೇಡ ಅಂತ ಹೇಳಲೇ..?”

“ಉಸಿರಾಡ್ಬೇಡ ಅಂತ ಕೇಳಿದಂಗಿದೆ..”

“ನಾನಿಗ್ ಸುಮ್ಮನಿರಲೇ..?”

“ಬೇಡ.. ನೀನು ಮೌನಕ್ಕೆ ದ್ವನಿಯಾಗಬೇಕು..”

“ದೊಡ್ಡವರು ಹೇಳ್ತಾರೆ "ದೀಪ ತಾನ ಉರಿದು ಬೆಳಕಾಗುವುದು"

 “ಅದೇ ಜಗದ್ ನಿಯಮವೇನೋ..?”

"ಅಲ್ಲ.!! ಅದು ಸವೆದಷ್ಟು ಸಲೀಸಾಗುತ್ತಾ ಸಾಗುವ ಪರಿ..

ಜೀವನ ಬಂಡಿಯ ದಾರಿ.."

Picture courtesy: +Nijukumar Pattar 

ಬಣ್ಣ ಮತ್ತು ಬೆಳಕು

ಎಲ್ಲೂ ಸಾಗದ ಗೊತ್ತು ಗುರಿ ಇಲ್ಲದ್ ಕಡೆ ಪಯಣ

ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಹಣತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಳಕಾಗಲು ಕಾಯುತ್ತಿರುವ ಕನಸಿನ ತೋರಣ

"ಇದು ಬರೀ ಟೆರ್ರಾಕೋಟಾ ದೀಪಗಳು ಕಣೆ. .!! ಬಿದ್ದರೆ ಒಡೆಯುವ"

ಎನ್ನುವ ಅವನತ್ತ ಸೆಳೆಯುವ ಮನ.. ತೆಲೆತಿವಿದೊಮ್ಮೆ ಕೇಳಬೇಕೆನಿಸಿದೆ,

"ಆ ಬಣ್ಣ ಬಣ್ಣಗಳ ಪ್ಲಾಸ್ಟಿಕ್‌ನಲ್ಲಿದೆಯೇ ಈ ಮಣ್ಣಿನ್ ಘಮ??"

ಸದ್ದಾಗುತ್ತಿರುವ್ ಮೊಬೈಲ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾತಾಡುತ್ತಿರು ಅತ್ತಿಗೆಯೊಂದಿಗೆ

ತೇಲಿಬಂದಿದೆ ಕಾದ್ ಎಣ್ಣೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಿಂದೇಳುತ್ತಿರುವ್ ಚಕ್ಕುಲಿಯ ನಾದಸ್ವರ್,

ಮತ್ತೊಮ್ಮೆ ನೆನಪಿಸಿದೆ ತವರಿನ ದಿನಗಳನ್ನ..

ಹುಷಾರು..!! ಕೆಡಸಬೇಡ, ಒಪ್ಪವಾಗಿ ಬಿಡಿಸಿದ ರಂಗೋಲಿ

ಎನ್ನುವ ಅಮ್ಮನನ್ನು ತಬ್ಬಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೇಳಬೇಕಿದೆ "ಇರಲಿ ಬಿಡಮ್ಮ..!!

ನನ್ನ ಲಂಗಕ್ಕೆ ಈ ನಿನ್ನ ರಂಗೋಲಿ ಸೇರಿಸುವುದು ಮತ್ತಷ್ಟು ಬಣ್ಣಗಳನ್ನ್"

"ಹಾಕು ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ಲಗಾಮು, ತೆಗೆದುಕೊ ಈ ನಿನ್ನ ದೀಪಗಳು.."

ಎನ್ನುವ ಅವನತ್ತ ತಿರುಗಿ ಹೇಳಾಗಿದೆ "ಹಬ್ಬ ಕಣೋ.. ಸಹಜ ಮನೆಯ ನೆನಪು"

"ಇಗೋ..." ಎಂದು ಬೊಗಸೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಬಣ್ಣಗಳನ್ನು ತುಂಬಿ

"ಬಾ.. ನಿನ್ನ ಹಣತೆಗಳನ್ನ ಕಲರ್ ಕಲರಾಗಿಸುವಾ..." ಎಂದು ನಕ್ಕಾಗ

ಮನ ಹೇಳಿದೆ....

"ನಿನಗಿಂತ ಬೇರೇನಿದೆ ಸಂಭ್ರಮ್..."

All that.. What goes for the 1st time

ಒಂದೋ.. ಎರಡೋ.. ಮೂರೋ.. ನಾಲ್ಕೋ…

ಒಂದೋ.. ಎರಡೋ.. ಮೂರೋ.. ನಾಲ್ಕೋ….

She went on saying this and little did I realize that I tutored this tiny two and half year old to utter numbers in the language she never heard any before, As her mom was on my door to pick her gal (OK! I do baby sit sometimes, well Kids love walking to me.* Disclaimer: Im not singing my praises here *) she puzzled as what alien thing her daughter is reciting. (* I bet! She gave a second thought of sending her in for next time *) as calm as ever, i made her known that her little one now can sing a numbers in KANNADA.  I could sense the excitement in her mother eyes as she said “You are the 1^st one teach her Numbers, well, I must freeze this moment.. “ I amused with smiling back “Parents..!! these days”

Waving a goodbye to my favorite moppet i could still overhear her rhythmic echo behind. The method to my madness bug inside caught me to structure this random thought to my whole nine yard experience. As I plunged into dwelling upon my 1^st timings the reel of life began to run, I had to pause it..!! I had to pause it thinking how every 1^st moment, every 1^st incident, every 1^st thing is lumped together with 1^st person.. knowingly or unknown to themselves HE/SHE leave their mark behind..

Remember..

Amma, Mummy or Maa,, Guess most of us announced to the whole world, “Yes! We can speak too” with same word, it was not just a simple phrase for us, it was lot more than that, it was that 1^st person we ever got attached, that’s the Mother, The 1^st person behind our 1^st slate, 1^st chalk piece, 1^st ever book or schoolbag or any random thing we ever wanted then and it was Father. That brother, who 1^st time taught how to hold a pen to how to handle that a heartbreak, that sister from whom we learnt how to peddle a cycle and those cousins who 1^st shared our thoughts our play area, those neighbor friends from we learnt to play galli Cricket, to build a castle with or how to wrangle around,

That 1^st stranger whose hand we held and walked into was the our Kinder garden Ayaa, or that 1^st teacher who was patient enough to deal with our annoying tantrums, that neighbor uncle who tapped our back on our stupider diagram or that 1^st  beautiful lady we admired across the streets, that friend who shared a bench with for the 1^st time would never knew he would be endless number of times will be the 1st timer for us.. 

those 1^st few to be official gangsta  friends or that volleyball coach who 1^st perused how to hold a ball, that aunt behind our 1^st cooking experience (well I can’t assure she did a good job :P)  that 1^st computer trainer who took us to world of Internet or that 1^st group mate who stayed late after collage to make the 1^st ever presentation next day, or that maternal uncle with whom we learnt how to get hands on that Dream BIKE, that 1^st cute guy/gal who smiled at You.. that 1^st one for whose dimples made your heart beat bit in a blues, that 1^st person you penned down your feelings for or that 1^st thurky friend who made you to do so, that group of a guys you got into 1^st ever fight (now looking back and laughing, how silly was that) .. that 1^st few friends you had a night out with or that buddy you raised 1^st beer with, the 1^st senior to tell you “Its OK to have a backlog” and that 1^st Junior girl who came to campus gymnasium looking for You, (* This was more or less like winning a NOBLE *) that 1^st ever friend to send orkut’s request, 1^st one to follow you on twitter and insta or the 1^st quoran who upvoted your 1^st ever answer..

Those 1^st colleagues to become a team with and that 1^st people you shared your “Employee of the Month” treat, that 1^st girl you saw on matrimony site (Man mein laddu footey..!!) that 1^st time your finger clenched in your Baby gals hand..

Wooo,, As I recall , all i know those 1^st ones who make “life little out of ordinary..”

PS: Breathing space with a thought for how many out there I have been that 1^st ONE..  :) 


the Backround music goes as..

ನೆನಪಿದೆಯೇ ಮೊದಲಾ ಸರಸ.. ನೆನಪಿದೆಯೇ ಮೊದಲಾ ವಿರಸ..
ನೆನಪಿದೆಯೇ ಮೊದಲು ತಂದ ಸಂಭ್ರಮದ್ ಕಾಣಿಕೆ........

(movie : Amruthadhaare)

"WE ARE NO GOD"

Thunderstorm.. Highway and Drive..

Wednesday, 11:43 PM

Weather: outside 26°C,  inside 18°C 

ME: “What is Happiness?”

HE: “why u wanna eat my head.. Hungry? I can drive you to eatery, right away next corner”

Me frowning..

 {After 2 minutes of silence }

HE: “Happiness is watching your patients going home happily”

ME: “He He.. Indeed.. Isn’t it they leave the handsome amount Behind..”

Holy Shit!! Why the hell I had to say this..

u silly Gal.. u would have just concentrated on your ice-cream

{ 2 more minutes of dead  silence }

HE: “remember that your pizza treat at Tomato’s? and the check amount?”

ME: “750 + taxes**, but what a taste..!!”

HE: “ No doubt.. But wasn’t pretty expensive?”

ME: “But, that..that was so amazing, I mean it takes best efforts to Bake”

HE: “ ‘n you think we cure patients by Magic??”

Ohh.. He got there.. Time to say Sorry!!

HE: “That dent and scratches on the car, remember paying the bill?”

ME: How can I forget? That was bigger dent on the pocket for that real unnoticeable dent on the car..”

HE: “I Agree.. But when Human beings come to us with bigger internal damage and we make sure it refunction almost near to normal.. don’t you think we should be paid enough?”

ME: ”Ok.. Point.!! Surgeries and treatments are acceptable but what about those consultancy charges and list of expensive tests you recommend.?”

I knew , Ball is in my court *Wicked Smile*

HE: “sometime you get your clothes stitched, customized.. does your designer take the measurement or he just make it to any random assumptions and handover it?”

ME: “Ofcourse!! He does. We girls like everything to be perfect.”

Now wondering, how exactly his theory of ‘tailor and measurement’ gonna relate to my question??

HE: “ I have seen you spending good amount of time on measurements, when something so visible can consume d time and meticulous measurement, how on the earth one can understand, measure, study and decipher what’s happening inside the body? Its just lame dark storm there.. How can we just predict which organ is behaving out of its state. Until we don’t put you under some scans and tests, assemble the data, analyze the facts and predictions how can one compile that perfect way of treating you?"

Errr.. why is he speaking my language…

Well.. before I open my mouth to say something…

HE: ma’am, its hard to believe but none of your chef, mechanic or designer rush to you at random hour in the night, but we “the Doctors” DO, whenever our patient is in need of us. We may not feel their suffering but we never fail to understand. We cannot prevent their ailing but we put our best foot forward to cure it. We don’t charge high, like any normal being out there we just expect to be paid off..!!

‘n yeah!! “ WE ARE NO GOD” we are a human too, with an ability to challenge the PAIN..

I wanted to say something, but then saw my melting ice cream,,  decided to better concentrate on it..

The background music went on..

Come on now

I hear you're feeling down

Well, I can ease your pain

And get you on your feet again..

[ A song by Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb ]