Silent Teacher

The setting sun is busy dyeing the color of a sky with his vividness and this room like any random day is crowded and felt like  long wait ahead, as always the smell of hospital was sickening for some reasons  more were the distressing than a happy faces around with busy staff in their routine chaos.  I sat their burying my eyes in my copy of Wuthering heights anticipating my turn shall not come any soon. Unable to read, I sat glancing at varied faces all around without realizing that I am eavesdropping in the conversation between two men sitting adjacent to me.

The young man in his late thirties was constantly mocking his little girl as to sit at one place and not to mess all around, watching this scene from last few minutes the old man next to him gestures at saying “it’s ok. She’s kid, let her play” ignoring these words the young man clutched his daughter hands tightly warned her again to maintain silence and send her off to her mother. I watch this girl frightened and running towards her mom I hear the young man turning to the old one and starts “Oh Sir, handling these daughters is big thing sir. Imagine, that too I have two two daughters. Firstly raise them up, provide all the things, educate them, spend on them and they will get married and go. No one to look after us in old age. What to do sir? Things would be different if I had a son; u might be having a son no sir. Lucky you sir” and as he says all this in one go ending the whole story with one big “pchhh” sound, I notice the old man nodding at him with a little smile and move back on his chair.

The time spent by there was awkward silence accept one or two mobile phone ringing and a receptionist calling out next patient’s name. after a while I saw one young lady in her finest of white Apron walking towards us. As she came closer to us, she smiled at old man held her hand to him and said “Come papa, Lets go home” as he got up to leave he turned to the young man patted his back and muttered “Its ok, Let her play” by then a very cute little girl came running to take his hands in her and said “I’ll Hold Nanu’s Hand”

I went on seeing them leaving until they faded from my sight, turning to younger man I noticed his daughter playing  gleefully with him. I couldn’t have felt any happier.

PS: Some people teach you so many things without saying much. Life in bites.:)

Until I see you in me..!!

Hey Mom,

There is nothing more joyous than being wrapped in your six yard saree. You know he says I looked beautiful when I choose to wear your fanatic treasure you safe guarded all these years so you could pass it to me.  But Maa how can I disclose him that it was not just any saree, it’s a perfect art of sliding into your warmness which I long for on those random unaimed days. Everytime I move my fingers on your kanchivaram, the lustrous shine or the feather smoothness would instantly rush me to ramble on the memory lane in no time.

Then were the days when  running behind you holding your pallu was my favorite game, when i had to cry I had the softness to curl in your lap and no matter how hard the things would get, the tiny tinkles of your moving bangles would sing lullaby, when everything  would seem blurred on the far side, the shadow of you walking to me draped in colorful saree would put that smile on me and I would just fall on my knees and convince myself as how Should I get away all my life without getting to dig in my face in those crumpled plates of your saree which always posed as cradle of your warm demeanour.

Then, how you could bid me adieu that day?  Did you flow in the same whirlwind of emotions i had underneath my feet or you had bigger storm of melancholy in your heart. As you let me go did you feel the same pain when I fought with your pelvic bone to push myself out of your womb or was it much more than I could justify the impulsive emotional outburst I had then.  Or is it that you always foresee this day? Were you aware that your little girl would one day unbind herself from you and walk into other world where she will leave your footprints in her every hustle bustle she could go through. When all my life you bubbled yourself around me as a cushion of comfort, how well you knew that I would still call for every shot without the torch of your guiding light. How you always go into hiding your tears behind that smile.  How you always knew it all..?

Amma, Today I am again draped in your saree and will be draping myself in one many more times until standing in front of Mirror I could see You in ME..

A note from HER dairy..!!

I have inked my soul with the infinite love for your existence in my mind on the platitude of alarmed state you left me. it is my inanity that i am still purely enslaved my endurance in anticipation of you to listen up to this pursuer of your love. Waking up every time with faint hearten numbness striking down to my veins is not curious anymore as every wall and pillow could eavesdrop to unheard prayers dried up with tears. How with every breath i have become so naive to deal with this sliced thoughts of my discomposed mind and heart which are stirred beyond the stretch of acute illusion i have been framing in your absence. i am drained with a consumed thoughts where they said its going to be entirely ok..!! how i wish i can Band-Aid my whispered remark to them that how profoundly uncommon you were to slip down in to lot beneath me where i kept all my doors open and YOU just decided to stand out and stare..!! How i wish...!!